yea

I feel down. I don't really know what's wrong - I just know I'm not where I'm supposed to be. Or maybe I am, but I can't seem to accept it.

I have a ton of things to do at work - but I just can't get off my ass and do them. Why is it so hard?

The Skinny Website - not so skinny!

I find this very amusing. I've been a frantic reader of theskinnywebsite.com for a year now, and I've always wondered what Rian Montgomery (the owner of the site) looks like. I mean, she sits there day in and day out writing about skinny celebs, sometimes saying they have gained weight or looks good. Judging them. I just googled her name and what did I find? Another website, looking extremely similar to the skinny, involving Chick lit, http://chicklitbooks.com. And I found a photo of her at http://www.culturecartel.com/staff.php?id=10060. She's right out fat!

Sorry, Rian, I just think that all your readers deserve to know. That's all.

Broadcast Yourself?

What I do not understand is when people (mostly young women) write everything about themselves in their blogs. Okay - if it's anonymous and there's no way anyone can find out who's writing that's better in my eyes (I'm apparently one of them). Buuuut when they upload pictures of themselves (in some cases with their workmates, children, boyfriends, etc.) and reveal every single little detail about their lives, their thoughts, experiences, issues - plus - reveal things about other people that are not giving their permission to such an exposure, I find it appalling.

Do they not understand that anyone can read their blogs? Do they not know that their sworn enemies (or future assaulters?), their moms, friends, or bosses will know things they are not supposed to know? If someone wants to hurt such a blogger, it'd be fairly easy. Or, to take a less aggressive example, if their boss gets to know another side of the blogger that maybe isn't fitting, he or she can lose their job.

And to blog about every single detail about your kids... Man, that's just evil. They haven't approved to being broadcasted all over the world, having their private photos downloaded to anyone's harddrive, or having the words "David had diarrhea today" forever printed in the cached memory of Google.

Don't get me wrong - there's no better read than the blog that tells me everything about a person with a face, especially if I know who that person is in real life. It's just that if I wanted to use that information against that face, I could really do some harm. Lucky for them, I don't have that in me. But someone else might.

I wonder...

Yesterday I had no strength to do anything. I just watched episodes from Scrubs season 6 all evening until I dozed off at 9. Oh well I did do laundry but I barely got it hanging.

I wonder if american medical care is as thorough as it seems to be on all the TV shows, or if it's just for show? In this country (I'm not sure whether to reveal that info yet), medical care is slow, poor and you are treated like you pretend to be sick and they'll do anything to get rid of you (such as prescribe anti-depressants even if you come in for an aching stomach - it's true, it happened to me). Hey - at least it's free! Yep it's free. So nobody's complaining even if we should.

I'm swamped at work today. I put off some tasks that should have been taken care of last week, but I just didn't feel like doing them. Soooooo I'm in a little bit of trouble now but if I do things right today and tomorrow, no one will notice. I think.

Am I THAT kind of mom?

Today was bring-your-kid-to-work day. Well not really, it was just me. It was just for a little while and she's at home with her dad again. Now that she's not here, I miss her so much. Am I that kind of mom? Am I that kind of employee? Am I that kind of career person? Who would prefer staying at home raising kids rather than making a career? After having stayed at home with my child for over 2 years, I'd say no. I do miss her and want to spend precious moments with her, but I wouldn't want to become a stay-at-home mom because I have so many other things I want to accomplish. NOT saying I think those moms are underachievers in any way - it's just not for me. I look up to all you moms who manage to raise your kids full-time, I do. But I was bored (so bored I had to enroll at university full-time to be able to cope with the boredom of being at home with a child. OMG that sounds horrible.. Let's just say I'm kind of restless. In all aspects of my life. More about that later.

However, I do put my family first in the way that I always think about my child's needs first-hand, and let my husband (or rather, his career) make the path for our lives. Not saying I put my own dreams and plans in the corner, it's just that in order for us to have the life we want for our family, we have to prioritize his career because that's what's taking us to our goal.

Right now, I'm not on my terrace, I'm in my office (yes, I have my own office, with a window, trees outside, the works) and I'm dreaming away to my dream destination.....

Hooked

I'm hooked on this blog (maybe you've noticed?). This paragraph could almost have been written by me, so I'll quote it:

"In the past year, I've learned a lot about what I want from my career. Or, what I don't want from my career. I don't want to sit in an office all day, everyday. I don't want to be an assistant forever. I don't want to work excruciatingly long hours. I don't want to be at the mercy of bosses and clients. And yes, there are a few wants. I want to work for myself one day. I want to make a decent amount of money. I want to be passionate about what I'm doing. I want to be creative. I want to help other Working Girl's find their passions, once I find my own."

Can you say mindreader?

Another Day, Same Dream

I don't know what makes the U.S. so appealing to me. Is it the culture, the people, the buildings, the weather, or the illusion of the American Dream? I think it's all of those things. I would like to be able to go to Starbucks (the real deal, not the kind we have here), Jamba Juice, CVS... I know I'm being silly but I WANT that life. What I don't want however is a low-paying job over there. I want to start my own business and transfer it to the U.S. and I want my husband to have a well-payed job so we can have a house with a pool.... I want many things. Right now I want to get some water. See ya!